But Don't You Love Me?
by weallmadeofstars
Summary: Used to be named "Whispered Thoughts". Adelaide is a new girl, & her past is haunting her, also, a Degrassi boy falls for her. R&R please
1. Building A Mystery

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but any made-up characters I do own. So if you steal them, I'll be mad! Oh but if you want to steal them all you have to do is ask! ^^

A/N: Seems like everyone's got new students at least once so I decided to do one too, yay!

Adelaide turned over in the uncomfortable motel room bed. She hated motels, despised them. But there was nothing else to do. Adelaide had hardly any money, and a motel was all that she could afford. She looked at the clock. Great. She was already late for her first day at a new school.

(( A/N, Adelaide is pronounced ADD-uh-laid ))

The secretary was writing a late slip. Her lips were very thin, and she looked like she was pretty angry that Adelaide was absent on her first day. _This is not a good first impression_, the secretary had said. Once she had her late slip, Adelaide headed to her first class. It was Mrs. Kwan's class. As soon as she walked in the room, everyone stared at her. 

"Is that the new girl?" Hazel whispered softly to Paige. 

Paige nodded. "Yes, obviously. Can you believe she's late on her first day?"

Adelaide took a seat next to an alternative-looking girl, whom by looking at her backpack, she identified as Ellie. Adelaide took out a hair scrunchy and put her chocolate brown hair into a ponytail. That's one thing she was definately focused on. Her hair. Nobody EVER touched it. Adelaide sat at her desk, tapping her fingers on the desk to an unknown beat inside of her head. Finally about 10 minutes later, class ended. 

In the hallway, Adelaide was greeted by that Ellie girl. Ellie walked up to her and was giving her a slight smile. Ellie extended her hand, and Adelaide took it, shaking it firmly.

"I'm Ellie Nash." Ellie introduced politely. 

"I'm Adelaide. Johnson. Pleased to meet ya, Elz." Adelaide said. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her black jeans, and headed to her next class. 

The rest of the day was pretty much a bore, until lunch. Adelaide got invited to sit with Ellie and her friends. Since she didn't have anywhere else to sit, she agreed. They were having pizza for lunch, and Adelaide took a bite. 

"This pizza is actually not half bad." Adelaide said, partly to herself.

"Yea, I know! This is practically the only good thing we have. Incredibly, you can have it every day. It's always what I eat for lunch," Ellie took another bite of her cheesy pepperoni pizza. "So, Ade. What's your story?" 

Adelaide sighed. What a polite way to ask, _why are you so weird?_ She wiped her mouth, which was covered with grease and pizza sauce on a napkin, and began to speak.

"There's no story. I moved here from New York. I'm a freak, and I like to listen to alternative music; like Kittie. I really didn't want to come here to Canada, but I kind of had no choice." 

"Well, where are you living?" Ellie asked, unaware that what she said was SO not the right thing to ask Adelaide. Adelaide choked on a piece of her pizza. She cleared her throat.

"Um, well. I don't really know the address or anything." Adelaide replied.

Ellie shrugged. She knew that Ade was lying, but she didn't know why. There was something about Ade that was a bit off. Ellie had to find out Ade's story.


	2. Who Do You Think You Are

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Disclaimer: I don't own any Degrassi characters but I do mine so if you wanna use them just ask! 

Ellie was on the Internet. By sudden whim, she decided to go to Google and search for Adelaide Johnson to see what she found. Surprisingly, she got hundreds of results. Ellie clicked the link, and it was a newspaper article. 

This newspaper article said: **_Girl Runs Away From Parents_**.

In the article, it talked about how this girls' parents hurt her (that's what friends of Adelaide said), and the girl(Adelaide)ran away. The parents refused to comment at the time, and were later found dead in the parking lot of a local bar.

Ellie sat back in her computer chair. _So, Adelaide had run away from her abusive parents. Did she even know that her parents were dead now? _

The next day at school, Ellie approached Adelaide with caution. Adelaide didn't smile when she saw Ellie coming her way.

"Come to harass me some more?" She said in a mean voice.

"No, actually. Since you wouldn't tell me anything about yourself, I figured it out myself. Your parents hurt you and you ran away. Then they were found in a bar parking lot dead. Now I'm wondering, how can you afford a new house and a plane ticket from New York to Canada?" Ellie asked.

"Okay. I'm not living in a house. I'm living in a motel. I know the manager. I spent almost all of my money on the plane ticket, and now I have to earn my own money nights after school." Adelaide gave up.

"What do you do for money?" Ellie asked again.

"God will you get off my case?" Adelaide complained.

Ellie threw her hands up in desparation. Adelaide started to walk away, and caught sight of the cutest guy she had ever seen. She tripped over the cement steps and went toppling down them. The cute guy went running after her. He helped her to her feet.

__

Omigod I cannot believe I just did that.

He smiled at her, and then picked up her books. The guy gave her a quick pat on the shoulder. "My names Craig. Craig Manning. You're new here right? I saw you in Kwan's class yesterday." 

__

Craig, she thought. _What a perfect name._

Adelaide grinned a flirty grin. "Yes I'm new. I transferred from New York," trying to keep a straight face, Adelaide continued. "I lived in the ghettos." 

  
Craig nodded. "Ah," he said. "I see." Craig looked her straight in the eye. Adelaide melted inside. He was so adorable!

"I'll see you at lunch?" Craig asked casually.

Adelaide nodded. "Most definately."

As Craig walked away, a girl walked up to Adelaide. Adelaide was about to laugh. This girl was definately in a younger grade than her, and she was dressed like some whore.

"Um, excuse me but you need to stay away from Craig. I know you're new here, and this is why I'm warning you. He's mine." the girl was saying.

"Oh, is that so? Well, alright. What is your name, child?" Adelaide asked with a straight face. 

"I am not a child. My name is Manuela. Who are you?" Manuela asked rudely.

****

((A/N: It IS Manny, she was just saying Manuela to make Adelaide be all..oh really is that your name. lol))

"My name is Adelaide. And you are so a child. You look like a little girl dressing up for Halloween like Britney Spears. Where's your Madonna? Why do you even care about Craig when you can have some girl to make out with?" Adelaide snapped.

"What did you say?" Manuela asked angrily.

  
"Go make out with your little girlfriend," Adelaide continued, pointing to a nearby girl in a 'Save the Mongoose' t-shirt. "That save-the-mongoose chick with the major face problem." 

Manuela's jaw dropped. _Who did this girl think she was?_

"She is not my girlfriend. For your information, we're not even friends. We used to be best friends, but now we hate each other."

"There's a fine line between love and hate." Adelaide replied, smirking.

Manuela stomped away. She was going to get even with this girl if it was the last thing she did.

Ellie watched the whole thing, and she was laughing to herself. This was going to be interesting.


	3. Until The Day I Die Pt 1

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Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Degrassi. I own only Adelaide, and if you want to use her for your own twisted pleasure just ask! lol

A/N- I have no idea where this story is going to go, or how long it's gonna be. Just a warning! ^^;

Adelaide was staring at Craig while he was eating, and she couldn't help thinking about how incredibly cute he was. She wanted to get to know him better. And she would.

That night, Craig invited Adelaide to his house. Of course, she accepted. 

While getting ready, Adelaide couldn't help but get excited. She hadn't liked a guy in forever! Adelaide carefully applied her subtle lip gloss, and headed out the door on her way to Craig's house.

She met him in the garage, and he was smiling at her. They sat down on the couch and Craig's smile faded.

"Ellie told me that your parents abused you. Don't get all mad at me, let me explain first. My dad, before I lived here, he beat me. Joey, he's not my father. He's my stepfather. But anyway, my dad hurt me. I never knew why he did it, I never understood it. I always thought it was my fault, but it wasn't. It was his fault." Craig admitted. Adelaide looked into his eyes, and she saw genuine care in them.

"I'm sorry. You didn't run away. That was so brave. I feel like a coward. I ran away from them. Then, they were found dead. I feel so stupid, and for letting them do that to me for so long. But I thought it was normal for parents to beat their children," Adelaide continued. "You never know when you're a child that it's wrong. I thought it was natural. It sure wasn't."

Craig took Adelaide's hand in his. He carefully kissed it. "Exactly. My father, he's dead. We got into a fight when he tried to apologize to me. But you can't apologize for what he did. It's the unthinkable. My dad was really angry, and he got in his car. He wrecked it. Luckily I didn't see that. When he died, I was actually happy. I laughed at his funeral. They were talking about how he was a dedicated father. What kind of dedicated father hits his children?" 

Adelaide nodded, and she saw the hurt in Craig's eyes. He had his heart torn apart, just like hers. They connected. It was amazing, more than she had ever felt for a guy. Ever.

__

Until the day I die   
I'll spill my heart for you, for you   
Until the day I die   
I'll spill my heart for you

Adelaide carefully settled into Craig's arms. He kissed her on the forehead. Suddenly, Joey walked in. He gave them an approving nod.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your moment of happiness, but dinner's ready," glancing at Adelaide, he smiled. "You may stay for dinner if you'd like. We're having spaghetti." 

"Thank you, Mr. Jeramiah." Adelaide whispered. Joey walked back to the house, and Adelaide got up from her very comfortable position. Craig was grinning at her. 

Craig pulled Adelaide into his arms, and kissed her full on the lips passionately. Taking her hand, he led her into the house. Adelaide looked around Craig's house. It was a lot more decent than the motel she had been staying in. The house smelled of Spaghetti, and men's cologne. It made her feel safe, and protected. Adelaide sat down at the table, grinning at Joey and Craig. She wasn't going to start eating until they did. What if they say grace? That would be really rude.

But they didn't say grace, they started eating their spaghetti vigorously. Joey tried to make small-talk. His conversation-starter wasn't one that Adelaide admired, it being: "So, where are you staying?" 

Adelaide sighed softly, and turned to look at Craig. Craig spoke. "She ran away from her parents. They were abusive. Don't even think about calling the agency. They're dead. As for where she's staying, I don't know. Adelaide?"

She looked at Craig, expression of disbelief in her eyes. When she knew that he wasn't joking, she shrugged and gave in. "The Motel 6. It's all I can afford." Adelaide said in a monotone. 

Craig's face softened. _'Why did I have to ask her that question?',_ he was thinking. Joey looked at Adelaide understandingly, and then his face lit up.

"Well, if you want to, you could stay here with us. I mean, if Craig here doesn't mind." Joey said this last part playfully. Adelaide's face turned grateful, and she turned to Craig. The look on Craig's face was priceless. The smile was probably the biggest smile he had ever smiled in his life. 

"Of course I don't mind. Spending time with you is the best thing I could ever do." Craig replied sincerely. Adelaide died inside at this comment. She so loved him! Adelaide had never trusted someone this much. She'd trust him with her life, and she would die for him. Which was weird actually, because they just met. _'Omigod I hope I'm not going to turn into an obsessive freak',_ Adelaide thought.

__

As years go by   
I race the clock with you   
But if you died right now   
You know that I'd die to   
I'd die too

__


	4. Until The Day I Die Pt 2

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything 'cept my character Adelaide. Which you can steal. With permission of course.

A/N: I was using lyrics in the 1st part of Until The Day I Die, and I haven't completed the song. It's a great song, by Story of The Year. I like the lyrics a lot and so I'm having them in several parts, until I complete the song. I didn't want to make one really long chapter. So you'll have a few normal ones.

Joey had driven her to the Motel 6 where she had been staying, and she got all of her belongings, which wasn't much. Her belongings consisted of a battered old notebook with poems scrawled on the pages, a picture frame with a picture of a girl in it, a beat up guitar, and of course, her clothes.

Adelaide held the picture frame close to her heart. Craig carefully pried it from her hands. "Who's this?" he asked with interest.

Adelaide smiled. "Marian." Adelaide looked at Craig shyly. Obviously she wasn't going to tell him who Marian was. Craig handed the picture back to Adelaide, and sat down beside of her. He put one of his arms across her shoulders. Adelaide's head lay gently on his shoulder, and he absentmindedly stroked her hair.

__

You remind me of the times   
When I knew who I was (I was)   
But still the second hand will catch us   
Like it always does

Craig kissed Adelaide softly on the cheek. She looked deeply into his beautiful eyes. He smiled at her.

"So you play guitar too, huh? You any good?" Craig asked, smirking. Adelaide shrugged. She nudged him and pointed to his guitar. Craig got the hint. He picked up the guitar and played a few notes. Adelaide didn't expect anything more, but he started to sing. His voice was soothing, and Adelaide felt herself drifting into a light sleep. It was like she was in a trance. Adelaide leaned back onto Craig's surprisingly comfortable floor, and closed her eyes. The last thing she heard him sing was..

__

We'll make the same mistakes   
I'll take the fall for you   
I hope you need this now   
Cause I know I still do

When she woke up, Adelaide found Craig sleeping beside of her, and they were on his bed. Adelaide smiled sleepily, looking at the clock. It was 10 AM. Good thing it was Christmas break. Christmas. Ah, yes. Adelaide had gotten what she wanted. Craig. Or at least, she thought she had him. Did he feel the way she did?

Adelaide took out her notebook, and a pen from the bedside table. She began to write. It was a poem, about Craig. _I'm writing love poems now, how lame am I? _But truthfully, Adelaide enjoyed it. This giddy feeling of love. And this poem, it was actually good! Better than her dark depressing stuff. Adelaide turned the notebook to the beginning. She hadn't written this kind of stuff since then.

She didn't want to think about it. She'd had her heart broken. Sure, every girl has had her heart broken. Adelaide still couldn't bear the thought of loving again. _Am I even able to love? _Adelaide didn't know the answer to this question. It scared her. Maybe she wasn't ready to love again. Maybe Craig didn't feel the same way as she did. He might not love her._ How can I even love him? I barely know him. _Adelaide just knew that when she looked into his eyes, there was nothing she could do to resist him. Craig, with his puppy dog eyes and his loving nature. His eyes, it was like they told a story. More importantly, his story. Adelaide knew all she ever needed to know about Craig through looking at his eyes. She didn't understand it. Was it stupid to love somebody because of how you feel when you look into their eyes? Can you love a person for that? Can a person somehow fool the person looking into their eyes? Someone could be an awful person, but if their eyes say they are wonderful, maybe somebody will fall in love with them. Adelaide didn't want her relationship based on Craig's eyes. It was stupid, idiotic, and childlike. Or was it?

__

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you   
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you

But Adelaide couldn't help it. She loved him with her heart, with her soul, ever fiber of her being. All she could see was Craig. Love was such a mystery to her. She hadn't felt it in a long time. Adelaide was so scared that she was going to have her heart broken again. _Love is so confusing. _Adelaide thought.

Craig woke up. Adelaide was staring into space, it seemed. She was thinking. What about? Craig didn't know. Craig lifted her head up by gently pressing her chin. He looked into the depths of her eyes. Craig could see plains of love in those eyes. He also saw doubt. She was doubting something. Craig was surprised at himself. _How did he know this just by looking into her eyes? _Craig kissed her, something more powerful than they had the previous day. This was with his whole self. Adelaide pulled back in surprise.

"Adelaide, what are you doubting? I can see it in your eyes." Craig asked. Adelaide sighed. She didn't want to tell him. She was afraid he'd think she was stupid. 

"If..you feel the same way I do." Adelaide answered, then inside she braced herself. She was prepared for the worst. Adelaide was ready for the hurt. Well, not ready for it, but she expected it to come.

"How exactly do you feel?" Craig asked again. Adelaide was freaking out inside. _Can't he even tell? Or is he just doing this to drive me crazy?_

"Okay, Craig," Adelaide breathed in. She felt like she was going to faint. "I think that I might..love you." Adelaide buried her face in her hands. She knew her face was turning crimson. Craig took her hands off of her face, and kissed her.

"You might? Or do you?" Craig was pushing it. Adelaide was starting to get angry. She did love him! She didn't want to love him. Because she loved him, she found herself hating him. She hated him because she felt like he was going to break her heart. Adelaide had never known real love. Heartbreak filled her life. She had been abandoned a countless amount of times. The one time she loved, Adelaide had got her heart broken.

__

Should I bite my tongue?   
Until blood soaks my shirt   
We'll never fall apart   
Tell me why this hurts so much

Craig was waiting for an answer. His heart was beating in his chest, and he felt like Adelaide could hear it. But she couldn't. All she could hear was HER heart. Adelaide's face was slowly turning red again. _How dare he even ask me that? He didn't even say anything about whether or not he loves me!_ She was thinking. If she told him and he didn't feel the same way, he'd think she was a freak. He was playing with her mind. She hated it so much! Adelaide gave in.

"I love you, Craig. There I said it. Are you happy?" Adelaide mumbled. She got up, walking towards the door. She grabbed all of her stuff and took the doorknob in her sweaty hand. Craig walked towards her, and took her stuff. He sat it on the ground.

__

My hands are at your throat   
And I think I hate you   
But still we'll say, "remember when"   
Just like we always do   
Just like we always do

Craig looked into her eyes. "Yes, I'm happy. I love you too, Adelaide Johnson."

__


	5. Until The Day I Die Pt 3

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Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, sadly. However, I own Adelaide AND the Adelaide/Craig relationship! (I don't OWN Craig though!) You can steal if my character if you ask, JUST DON'T STEAL MY STORY!

A/N: Still continuing the song Until The Day I Die. Oh and, obviously..Craig and Ashley are NOT together in this fic!

Adelaide stood by Craig's door with an incredibly surprised look on her face. Craig Manning, the most gorgeous guy in school..LOVED HER? No way. Adelaide was staring at Craig in disbelief. He broke out into a grin. Taking her into his arms, he asked, "Will you be my girlfriend?" 

Adelaide was breathing heavily. "Yes," Inside she was more frantic than she sounded. Inside, she was more like, YES YES YES YES!!!!!! "But, um, what about that chick that looks like Britney Spears?" 

  
Craig pulled away, looking confused. He scratched his head in contemplation. "Who? Paige?" Craig didn't see what Paige had to do with anything. 

__

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you   
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you

Adelaide shook her head. "No. That girl. Man something." Craig laughed. Man something? He was thinking. He knew she meant Manny, but he was almost about to crack up laughing.

"Manny's her name. Yea well I went out with her, and the date didn't go so well," Craig laughed, remembering the awful date. Manny had almost killed him that night! He remembered almost choking to death on cotton candy, and getting smacked in the eye with the ball from the game at the carnival. "She still is really upset about it. She likes me a lot."

  
Adelaide nodded, understanding. "Why wouldn't she? But I think she's a bit psycho if you ask me.." Adelaide had a weird look on her face.

  
Craig raised an eyebrow at her. "Why, what did she say to you?" He was interested. What was Manny telling everyone?

"She said that you're hers or something and that I had to stay away. I told her she looks like Britney Spears and I called her a lesbian. I told her to go make out with her little save-the-mongoose friend." Adelaide replied, laughing.

Craig gave Adelaide a surprised look. "Emma? She's, um..actually not that bad of a person. She's just concerned with the environment. Did you even talk to her?" 

  
Adelaide shook her head. Geez, I didn't mean to offend him! Adelaide felt horrible now for saying that.

"No, I didn't talk to her. I'm sorry if I offended you, Craig." Adelaide knew tears were welling up in her eyes. Anything close to a fight terrified her. She knew that fights end relationships, because she had seen that in her parents. Adelaide turned away, and the tears flowed from her eyes. She couldn't hold her pain in. There were too many open wounds. She wasn't over having her heart broken the first time.

__

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!   
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!   
My hands are at your throat   
And I think I hate you   
We made the same mistakes   
Mistakes like friends do

Craig took a tissue from a nearby tissue box, and wiped Adelaide's tears away. He never wanted to see her cry. Now HE felt terrible for making her cry! She was just overly sensitive, but he didn't know that. Craig frowned.

"No, I'm sorry, Ade. I didn't mean to jump all over you," He was studying her with his eyes, and then he realized why she's so sensitive. "I know there was probably some guy who did you wrong back in the past there. Whoever he was, he was stupid. Giving you up is the most idiotic thing a guy could ever do." Craig said sincerely.

Adelaide let a small smile creep up onto her face. "Actually, no." Craig raised his eyebrow. No to which part? He was confused, again.

"No to which part?" Craig asked.

Adelaide played with a string from her pants. She felt her face getting hot. She knew she'd have to tell him sometime.

"A guy that did me wrong. It..wasn't a guy," This was so hard for Adelaide. It was way too soon. "Craig, I'm bisexual."

Craig's mouth opened widely to form an 'O'. Then he smiled. "Okay. What I meant then, was..there was a girl that did you wrong. She was stupid." Craig didn't even care that she had been with a girl. Why would that even matter anyway? Some guys would find it kinky, and they'd be wanting a threesome. But not Craig.

Now it was Adelaide's turn to be surprised. "What, so it doesn't matter to you?" Adelaide asked, curious.

"No, it doesn't matter. I mean, it matters that she hurt you, but it doesn't matter that you were with a girl. It doesn't bother me at all. I feel the same way about you that I did just a minute ago. I love you, Adelaide. Why don't you understand that?"

Adelaide sat down on Craig's bed. She looked up at him. "I don't understand it, because I haven't been loved in so long. Marian..she cheated on me. I had been with her-" Adelaide had to stop because her voice broke. A tear fell from her eyes. Then another. And another.

Craig sat down beside Adelaide, rubbing her neck softly, he spoke. "It's alright, Adelaide. I understand. You're not ready." 

Inside, Craig was feeling an emotional rollar coaster. Adelaide wasn't ready to love him with her full self. How come he had to push her so hard earlier? If he had known..

__

My hands are at your throat   
And I think I hate you   
We made the same mistakes   
Made the same mistakes

Adelaide hated him so much for making her admit it. But at the same time, she felt relief. It was so confusing. She still loved Marian, with all of her heart. Then this love for Craig comes pushing in. She didn't know what to do. Adelaide didn't know why she still loved Marian. She felt as if she shouldn't, because of what Marian did to her. Adelaide just couldn't help it. She wasn't over her ex. She didn't even want them to break up in the first place, so how could she want anything or anyone else?

Craig slumped over sadly. Now she probably hated him. Sure, if she wasn't ready for a relationship, he understood. He would wait for as long as she wanted. But since he pushed so hard..if she hated him, there was no going back for them. Or was there? 

__

Until the day I die   
I'll spill my heart for you, for you   
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you, for you   
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
I'll spill my heart for you   
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)   
Until the day I die!!!

Craig didn't know. What he did know was that no girl had ever made him this confused in his entire life.


	6. Author's Note

****

Author's Note

You don't have to read this, but I felt this needed to be said.

Adelaide, in this story..stands for everything I was..everything I am. She's very confused, because she lost the person she thought was the one for her. Now she's not ready to love. She does love Craig, but she's just not ready to lose him. I took a lot of myself and put it into Adelaide.

I had an experience a couple years ago, where I fell in love with my best friend. I ended up losing her, and it was devastating to me. I couldn't even think of loving again. I fell in love, again. I finally gave myself up to it, completely. But then I lost her too. My third time being in love, I didn't let myself love completely. Maybe it makes me hurt less now that I've lost her. But I lost her kind of on purpose. I broke up with her, because we had an online relationship..and those never work. Long distance really tears at the heart strings. Now the girl doesn't even want to speak to me.

Anyway, I kind of got off-track on what I was trying to say. Adelaide is everything that I am. So if you critize Adelaide, if you think she's stupid..what you're saying is that you think that about me too. There's one major difference between Adelaide and I, and its that she's bisexual and I'm completely gay. Also, her parents beat her(and she lived in New York). My father beat me only slightly, but I wouldn't necessarily call it beating. My mother usually stopped him. He had a bad temper. My parents split up, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It made me terrified of fighting. Now whenever I get into a fight I burst out crying because to me, a fight typically ends in terminating of a relationship. Not just in romantic relationships either, with my friends as well. I hate fighting. 

If Craig, Ellie, or Manny are in any way out of character, I'm sorry..I just tried to make them fit into my story a little more.

I am not done with this story yet, but I've got writers block..and I don't know what should happen next. If you have any suggestions email me at midnight_wolfen@hotmail.com . I was thinking about having Manny find out about Craig and Adelaide and her freaking out. I don't know yet.

I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year, anything else that you celebrate.

Thank you, and God Bless.

- Jazz


	7. Flash Back To Wonderful

****

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Degrassi but I own Adelaide, Marian, Breanne, and Michael. Lyrics are owned by Everclear.

A/N: This is my 2nd time writing this, so it might not be good. My stupid computer erased it..AND IT WAS 4 PAGES LONG!

Adelaide sat on Craig's bed. She was accustomed to it, and Craig's entire house. She had been there for 2 weeks now. Adelaide was waiting for Craig to get out of the shower. She began thinking about her broken family, and how it had always been broken.

****

** Flashback **

It was Christmastime, and they were putting up the tree. It was like they were a normal family. Adelaide dropped the glass ornament, her father glared at her, and then slapped her across the face. Turning in her mothers direction, her father yelled.

"Look what your fucking daughter did now! That ornament was expensive, damnit!" 

"She's your daughter too, Michael," her mother screamed back. "And the ornament was only FOUR DOLLARS! Besides, you're the one that FUCKED me to get her so don't you even complain, you god damn son of a bitch!" Adelaide was only 6 years old at the time. Her mother examined her face. "You didn't hit her hard enough." her mother, Breanne, exclaimed. Breanne gave her a harder slap on the face. Michael smirked, and hit her even harder. This was a game they typically played. Adelaide didn't even know it was wrong. She didn't know her other 6-year-old friends had parents that hugged them, and not parents that took turns slapping their children as hard as they could.

** End Flashback **

__

I close my eyes when I get too sad  
I think thoughts that I know are bad  
Close my eyes and I count to ten  
Hope it's over when I open them 

Adelaide was shaken from her memories when Craig emerged from the bathroom, wearing only a towel. At the sight of her tear-streaked face, Craig sat down beside Adelaide. He stroked her hair.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, voice full of concern.

"Nothing." She replied, her voice as cold as stone.

"I know you, and I know you don't cry over nothing. What is it?" Craig asked again.

"Nothing recent. I was just thinking about my family." Adelaide answered. Craig nodded. He understood. It was often that he thought about his father as well. Craig slumped over, and remembered.

****

** Flashback **

His father had seemed pretty happy that day. He was making breakfast. Craig just asked a simple question. "Hey dad, do you think you could make me another egg?" Craig asked innocently, not knowing that his dad would go psycho.

His father's face turned red, and he bellowed; "I already made you eggs. You don't need any more you lazy son of a bitch!" His father grabbed his arm, and immediately a bruise appeared. 

"Dad, let go," Craig pleaded. His father only gripped harder. "You're hurting my arm, dad. LET GO!" Craig screamed. His father gripped harder. Then he let go. Craig was thrown backwards. That was how hard his father had held his arm. Craig's father helped him back up, and pretended nothing had happened.

** End Flashback **

__

I want the things that I had before  
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door  
I wish I could count to ten  
Make everything be wonderful again

Craig was jerked back into reality when he realized what was going on. He was still sitting beside of Adelaide, wearing a towel. The towel had started to fall down a little. Craig pulled the towel back up, blushing with embarrassment. Grabbing some clothes, Craig headed back into the bathroom to get dressed.

Adelaide smiled. Then her smile went away. She was remembering again.

** Flashback **

She had been trying to sleep. Adelaide heard arguing. Now 9, she was much more adapted to this fighting. Adelaide snuck down the stairs and decided to watch. 

"Breanne, get me another beer." Michael had demanded.

"Get it yourself, lazy ass." Breanne had replied.

"I said, get me another beer, goddamnit!" Michael roared. Breanne stood there. There was no way she was getting Michael another beer. Michael stomped over to the fridge and got a bottle of beer. He took a sip, and then gave a glare at Breanne. Suddenly, he threw it at her. The bottle hit Breanne, and she fell backwards. Howling in pain, Breanne cursed him.

"God damn you son of a bitch! What the FUCK do you think you're doing? You don't do that to me!!!!!"

Adelaide was sick of all the fighting. Why couldn't they just get along?

** End Flashback **

__

Hope my mom and I hope my dad  
Will figure out why they get so mad  
Hear them scream, I hear them fight  
Say bad words that make me wanna cry

Craig was finally dressed. He sat down beside of Adelaide again. Taking her hand, he spoke. "Adelaide, I know how hard it is. But you can't let it get to you. You really can't. It's all in the past. No one's gonna hurt you now. I won't let them."

Craig wanted to kill Adelaide's parents. That wasn't possible. They were already dead. It made Craig so angry that they both hurt her like that. It wasn't even for a good reason! Was there ever a good reason for beating? They just simply wanted to have a competition. Beating shouldn't be a competition. _Hell, _thought Craig_. That shouldn't even be going on at all. _Craig knew it wasn't easy to let the past be the past. He still thought of his father all the time.

****

** Flashback **

He was at the funeral. His father was finally dead. Now he couldn't hurt him anymore. How was he supposed to feel? Should he be happy? Should he be sad? All Craig knew was, when they said he had been a dedicated father, that was a crock. Craig laughed aloud. Everyone thought he was crazy.

They didn't know.

** End Flashback **

__

Close my eyes when I go to bed  
And I dream adventures that will make me smile  
I feel better when I hear them say  
Everything will be wonderful someday

Wonderful? Craig thought. When had things ever been wonderful? Only when his mother was alive. He couldn't imagine life ever being wonderful after she died. And it never was. 

Adelaide knew Craig was off in his own little world. It was okay, because so was she. Only now, she wasn't thinking about her parents. She was thinking about Marian.

****

** Flashback **

Marian had smiled at her. What a fake smile that had been. "I think we need to see other people." Marian had said. Marian had no idea what power those words had. She didn't know how much that hurt Adelaide. Adelaide's lip quivered.

"Is there someone else?" she asked. Marian nodded, and pointed to a nearby guy. That's when Adelaide thought she would never love again. Marian had broken her heart. She had shattered it. By cheating on her..with some lowly GUY. Marian had been the most wonderful, beauteous, and perfect girl ever. Marian, with her flowing blonde hair, her understanding blue eyes. She had been there for Adelaide through all of the tough times with her parents. She's the only one that knew about Adelaide's parents beating her. Then there was Vince. Wonderful Vince. Adelaide hated Vince more than she had ever hated anyone. It wasn't even his fault, but she hated him. Vince was the guy that stole her soulmate.

** End Flashback **

__

Promises mean everything when you're little  
And the world's so big  
I just don't understand how  
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes  
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Adelaide didn't completely understand. She knew she loved Craig. But maybe not as much as she did Marian. Adelaide knew that if Marian came back, she'd take her in a heartbeat. No matter how much Marian had hurt her, Adelaide still loved her. Marian. Come back to me..

When she had Marian, everything had been wonderful. She wanted it to flash back to wonderful.

**** ****


	8. The Final Choice

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I own all my characters.

A/N: I'm ending this fic in this chapter, so please R&R..as I have not gotten any reviews on this story at all. I'm beginning to think you hate it!

It was time to go back to school. Break was over, and it was the new year. Adelaide was pretty happy. Then she stepped into her homeroom class with her boyfriend Craig. The happiness ended right there. Adelaide's heart skipped a beat as she took a seat beside Craig in Mrs. Kwan's English class. 

"Everybody, may I have your attention? We have a new student. Her name is Marian and she's from New York City." Mrs. Kwan announced cheerfully. Adelaide was staring at Marian, a large lump in her throat. Marian smirked, and took the empty seat to the other side of Adelaide. Craig raised his eyebrow, and tapped Adelaide on the shoulder.

"Is this-" Craig didn't even have to finish the sentence. Adelaide nodded, a tear escaping her frightened eyes. Craig didn't see the tear, because if he had, he would have tried to comfort her. Marian put her hand on Adelaide's shoulder, and was staring at her. Adelaide shifted around uncomfortably and looked at Marian. 

"Get your hand off of my shoulder." She said in a tearful voice. Marian took her hand off of Adelaide's shoulder, and looked into Adelaide's eyes.

"I'm sorry. Not just for the shoulder thing..but for Boyd. It was stupid, and - I want you back, Adelaide. I really want you back. I love you." Marian was saying. Adelaide turned away, her head pounding. _Why did Marian have to come now that things were so great?_

"Let's talk about it later." Adelaide said through clenched teeth, and opened her Language book. Mrs. Kwan had chosen Jimmy to read, and Adelaide wanted to pay attention. She couldn't concentrate, knowing that Marian was to the left of her, watching every move she made. Adelaide did the only thing she could think of. She raised her hand.

"Yes, Adelaide?" Mrs. Kwan asked, and Jimmy stopped reading. Adelaide blushed as the entire room focused on her.

"May I go to the bathroom?" Adelaide pleaded. Mrs. Kwan smiled.

"Of course. Take the girls' pass." She replied. Adelaide took the girls' pass as Jimmy began reading again. She walked out into the hallway, then towards the bathroom. 

  
Adelaide sat on the bathroom sink counter. She was thinking about the dilemma she was in. Should she stay with Craig, the boy that had never hurt her, & never given her a reason to hurt .. or get back with Marian, her first love, that cheated on her? Adelaide was so confused, and she didn't know what to do.

Marian walked in the bathroom, then smiled at Adelaide. She pushed her up against the wall and kissed her forcibly on the lips. Adelaide pushed her away.

"Marian, I have a boyfriend." Adelaide said strongly. Marian looked hurt.

"Who, that fag from English class?" Marian asked in a snobby voice.

"I don't appreciate that word. He has a name, you know, and its Craig. I love him, Marian." Adelaide replied, backing away slowly. Marian's eyes were wild.

"No you don't. You love me."

"How can I love you when you cheated on me?" Adelaide asked.

"You love me." Marian was almost demanding, and she slapped Adelaide across the face. Adelaide couldn't hold it in. Tears welled up in her eyes. No one had ever hit her since her parents. Marian instantly was sorry. "I'm sorry, I forgot.."

Adelaide was angry. "That's the thing. You always forget. I'm with Craig now, and if you don't like it..go to hell!" Adelaide screamed, grabbing the girls' pass and running back into Mrs. Kwan's room. Marian stood in the bathroom by herself, and broke down, tears streaming down her face. 

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A/N: And that is the end, folks. R&R please! Hope you liked it! 


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